Slime Rancher Free Till Mar 21


At the risk of sounding like a complete shill, it behooves me to advise that Slime Rancher is currently free and everyone should go download it now.

Yes, it is on the Epic Games launcher. Yes, you may have perfectly valid reasons as to why you will not support Epic Game’s launcher. I’m not asking you to pay any money to Epic Games. You can, in fact, drain Epic Game’s coffers by just utilizing their free games and bandwidth to download without paying them a cent. After you try the free game out, you can uninstall and wipe it and the launcher clean off your hard drive for all I care.

However you rationalize it, you should just go effing download Slime Rancher right now.

Because anyone who doesn’t give themselves the gift of bright colors, round cuteness, and adorable squeals is missing out on a whole load of happy.

You are only excused if you can scroll through two or three pages of the /Aww Subreddit without feeling at least the glimmer of a smile creep up for at least one picture.

Even if you’re convinced this type of game is not for you, at least give it a try. 15 minutes, see how it goes from there.

There is something about Slime Rancher and its simple formula that somehow yields engagement. The basic objectives are easy to grasp. You’re a farmer (well, rancher.) You rear slimes. Feed the slimes, they give you plorts (ie. cute slime poop.) You sell the poop and make $$$. Rinse and repeat.

The game opens up with more and more discoveries. You have to go look for said slimes. Your map expands with each exploration. Said slimes may have unexpected interactions with other objects. You make simple plans and strategies to cope with these interactions. Forays out in ever widening radius, and returning home in cyclic fashion to tend to what you already have.

It is satisfying. It is perfect for a mild case of the blues.

There are small little chores on the ranch which must get done; there are slimes counting you (not to mention the possibility of staving off absolute chaos and disaster of bored, escaped slimes). Yet they are easy enough that they sneak past lethargic resistance and inertia and you get going. One thing follows another.

As you shovel slime manure out of one pen (hey, it’s money), you realize you better feed those other slimes. So you go to the vegetable patch, hoover up the veggies and return. But when you’re there, you pass yet another pen, which reminds you that fruits are needed. so that becomes task number 2 after you’re done.

At the end of it, you brush your brow and look back at a neat, tidy, well-maintained ranch full of happy bouncy slimes and feel good about yourself.

And now you have time to go check out something new and unknown that you may not have seen before, collect something new to bring back, which starts the whole process all over again.

Until you’re done for the day and log out. They’ll be waiting for you when you need them.

Well, unless they’re quantum slimes. I came back to absolute chaos when popping back into the game to take screenshots for this post. I was out far far away on the map and wandered around for 2+ in-game days trying to remember my way back home. Whole place needed massive tidying up after.
Cleaned up. Stuffed the escaped slimes back in. Now with all the food inside the pen attracting them inward, rather than outward. Plus new slime toys.

P.S. I took time out from Path of Exile’s Synthesis League and Warframe’s recent patch drop just to write this post and evangelize. That’s how good I feel the Slime Rancher experience is. Everyone should try it, if only for a little while. As for me, it’s back to the grind of leveling up and getting all the things.

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