Tripod’s “Head of Zombie”

I’m just an old crone in the woods
Mixing my magic potions
Living alone here in the woods
Ninety years, ninety years,
Scraping by on berries and tree sap
Sunken eyes deep in my weathered face
My scraggly hair-like dry white hair
I’m raving to myself
To the few teeth I have left

And I have such…
…a smokin’ body…
…a full and youthful rack…
…the ass of a gym instructor…

My neck is a portal,
between good storytelling…
…and no sense at all.

I am a zombie shambling through
a dark and abandoned building
Horrors I’m told have ravaged me
Jerking and spasming
Seven years I’ve rotted in the waste
My family held out hopes I was alive
And now my son has found me here,
He raises up his knife…
as the tears stream down his face…

And I have such
a smokin’ body
my breasts are both intact
I’m dressed as a nurse-themed stripper

My neck is a portal,
between narrative logic…
…and no sense at all.

Head of zombie,
Body of hottie
Head of orc queen,
Body of hottie
Head of space fish,
Body of hottie

I’m a cartoon aardvark
In a pixelated magical kingdom
Gathering sparkling pumpkins
On rainbow skates
It’s also the case that
I’m stacked like a swimsuit model

My neck is a portal
between good storytelling
…and no sense at all!

 

Edit: Lyrics fixed, courtesy of Joseph Skyrim!